


Throne Room

by Hungry_AloeLeaf



Category: Warriors - Erin Hunter
Genre: Apple Juice, Attempt at Humor, Attempted Kidnapping, Candy, Caramel, Cravings, Drunkenness, Fat Shaming, Home Invasion, Humor, I love them so much, I'm Sorry, I'm sorry I do things with these fite cats, Kidnapping, Kings & Queens, Kings AU, Lap Sitting, MY LOVE HAS BEEN UNLEASHED, Memory Loss, SELF-FRUSTRATE, STUFFING BOYS, Self-Indulgent, Some Humor, The tables have turned, Weight Gain, actually how do I describe it, also, also will tag, bad Memory, chunky Onewhisker, drunk Onesie, guess he didn't need Fire to make the pies, he just has bad memory though, hue hue hue, i'm not FINISHING ANYTHING, it's uh. implied, look at Reasons then look at this, next chapter is less..., no idea how drunk people act, okay???, why am I writing so much, you can tell that I have
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:00:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25645447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hungry_AloeLeaf/pseuds/Hungry_AloeLeaf
Summary: Firestar, King of Thunderclan, finds himself in QUITE the predicament, kidnapped, bound and defenseless.Now, the question is... what will ensue behind the golden doors of the throne room?Felt like giving myself a tiny treat since I feel better about writing now and stuffs starting soon I need to cram some actually okay-ish chunky Onesie stuff in-
Relationships: Firestar & Onewhisker (Warriors)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	1. Regular Thrones are Soooo Overrated.

“I think that it’s wonderful that _someone’s_ finally decided to visit.”

“Do you think that you would visit someone who constantly attacks your kingdom?” Firestar spat in reply, forcing down the urge to bite the finger trailing down his cheek. He wriggled a bit in his binds. “And captured me?”

“Aw, what’s wrong, Fires?” Onestar leant down, brown strands brushing Firestar’s cheek. “Somebody huwt your widdle _fewwings?_ ”

The Thunderclan king scowled when his captor giggled, breath reeking with the sweet aroma of apple juice.

“You didn’t inform me that this was a drunken act of stupidity.”

“It was none of your business.” The brunet growled, swiftly drawing away from the chair. “However, now the safety of your kingdom is. All vulnerable, without their raging fire.”

“One, you wouldn’t _dare_ to attack them!” Firestar yanked at the ropes and chains now, curls falling in the way of his glare. “Just let me go. Please.”

“You should know by now that pleading won’t get you out of this,” The Windclan king turned away, plump lips pulled in a tiny smile. “Besides, taking over your… scrappy little kingdom isn’t quite my objective.”

“…Then what do you want with me?” Firestar chilled when his former friend threw his head back in a bout of laughter. “What’s so funny?”

Onestar only hummed, sliding out of his royal robe to reveal the shimmering gold fabric beneath (not the transparent type, Thank _Stars_ ). Firestar’s uncomfortableness grew when the king stalked over to the tiny table upholding the apple juice.

“I was just… sitting in my bed with a glass, you know? Thinking about what nasty thing I was going to do to you the next time I saw you.” The Windclan ruler slung the robe over his shoulder.

The ginger’s green gaze watched the pour of the amber liquid, and the once strong stream weakened to a trickle, and a few drops out of the gallon. Onestar picked up the filled glass, amber eyes misty when he glanced back up.

“And it hit me then.”

“Hopefully it was a fist knocking some sense upside your skull.”

“SILENCE!” The shout was followed by a long sip, a grimace, then a soft sigh. “I thought that… I should get a new throne.”

“A throne?” Firestar’s screech of bewilderment garnered a sharp amber glare. “What the literal frogdung do I have to do with that?! Surely, in this entire kingdom, there has to be someone who can build your wide arse a throne! _What in the name of good sense do you need me for?_ ”

Onestar’s features tightened, and he took another long sip lasting a good minute that surely drained the glass.

Firestar yelped when the goblet slammed onto the stone, shattering, casting tiny little fragments of refracted light across the room. A hand suddenly gripped his chin, and he was staring into the angry amber orbs once more.

“You dare speak to me like this in my own castle?” The words were quiet, but the grip was tightening by the second. “I could have you beheaded. You have _no one_ here to save you… and you may still serve your purpose _dead_.”

“You would never kill me,” Firestar lifted his chin as best he could, succeeding in keeping his voice strong. “Stand there and tell me I’m wrong, _Onewhisker_.”

The other ruler squinted at him, and released his chin, hands cupping Firestar’s face.

“Shame. You have such a pretty head. I’d love to see it everyday on my wall.” Onestar straightened, sliding his robe from his shoulder. “Now hush. This won’t hurt if you just… hold still…”

The robe unfolded, gold threads shimmering at Firestar in the light pouring in from the windows of the throne room. The Thunderclan leader squeaked when the cloth draped over his head, silk-side, causing the world to go a dark gold.

“H-hey! What are you doing?!” His voice was slightly muffled by the robe.

“You’ll find out soon enough.” The reply was slow-spoken.

Firestar bit back a whine. This entire ordeal was proving to be quite strange, even for a drunk Onestar. His family and the castle back home may not even know that he was gone, since he’d asked not to be disturbed in the royal garden he’d been snatched from. The only thing he could do now was wait for something to happen.

And after a few long, long moments, something did.

It started out as a little nudge on his legs, and he knew it wasn’t a new presence, he didn’t hear any doors open or Onestar address someone new.

Before he could question what was happening, something plush settled on his legs gradually, then the full weight eased on with a quiet huff. The chair gave a low creak, and Firestar didn’t try to suppress a protest himself.

“DEAR STARCLAN did you set an elephant on me?!”

“You should’ve been a comedian instead of a king,” He could feel Onestar’s sarcastic breath through the robe, closer than before, scenting even more of apples than earlier. “Just shut up and be a good throne.”

“ _THRONE?_ ” Firestar screeched furiously. “THAT’S WHAT THIS WHOLE KIDNAPPING WAS ABOUT?!”

“Yep.”

Firestar was speechless now. _The_ audacity _. The gall, the sheer nerve…_

The anger boiling in him stilled at a thought – perhaps this was just Onestar’s way (although a very drunken way) of saying that he was lonely.

And even if the behavior was unexpected and frankly inappropriate… it was so familiarly Onewhisker.

The Thunderclan ruler heaved a sigh, jostling a knee under the brunet.

“I bet you remember when we used to do this, don’t you? Back when Tallstar was leader here…”

Silence. Perhaps he was listening. Still, Firestar had to make sure.

“I remember it. But you certainly weren’t this heavy.”

“Can still have you beheaded.” A finger poked his chest through the robe, but he certainly didn’t sound too angry behind the threat now.

“I remember when you actually used to enjoy things. I loved it when you would run up to me and just – sit on me, whenever you found something and show it to me like a little toddler.”

The whisper was soft: “…I don’t remember.”

“Of course you do. You used to do it all of the time before we became royals.” Firestar’s green eyes narrowed. “Unless you’re denying things…”

“I’m no liar, am I?” The Windclan king snapped, shifting on top of Firestar. “I just… I don’t remember certain things like I used to.”

“Why not? You’re not that old and fat.”

“ _I. don’t. know._ ” Onestar ground his hips into Firestar’s legs with each syllable, which certainly did hurt a bit. “I just don’t.”

“Well… you think it’s because you’re drunk all the time?”

“No, it’s because I prefer to drink straight simple syrup like Leopardstar.” The brunet sarcastically grunted.

“…You do?” Firestar wasn’t quite certain that it was actual sarcasm.

“Thrones aren’t supposed to run their big mouths.”

“Kings aren’t supposed to sit their elephant arses on other royals!”

“Now you have three choices. Either you shut up, I sit on your lap, or this chair is getting tipped over and I’m sitting on your face!”

“All three are cruel choices.” Firestar risked a small mutter before going silent.

Many more minutes must have ticked by, perhaps even some time close to an hour. The bits of light spilling in from behind the chair appeared to darken over time. His legs were beginning to ache more and more at this point, but he couldn’t move much, being restricted by the binds and the grown man sitting on him.

“One,” He murmured, nudging the brunet a little with his knee. “One, my legs hurt.”

A sleepy hum rumbled through the robe, and Onestar seemed to snuggle closer.

“One-”

“Don’t talk.” Onestar’s sentence ended in a yawn. Arms wrapped around Firestar’s neck, and the Windclan king slumped on him more heavily, much to the ginger’s dismay. “Thrones don’t talk.”

“Well, you don’t fall asleep in thrones! You go to sleep in bed!”

“Don’t tell me…” The words were broken by a yawn. “…what to do with my own throne. I’ll sleep on it if I wish, even if it is much too bony to be comfortable.”

“I don’t know if I would trust your perspective on what ‘bony’ actually is.”

Firestar knew the brunet must have been tired if he didn’t snap in reply. More silence reigned before the large room filled with the drone of soft snores. The Thunderclan king sighed quietly.

“Well, this is just perfect, isn’t it? I’ve been surprisingly successfully kidnapped, am strapped to a chair, and I have a blubbery walrus crushing me.” He shrugged as best he could. “Another adventure in the day of a king, I suppose.”


	2. Cravings Call

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again, the king of Thunderclan suffers from a break-in in his own castle.
> 
> Perhaps he should hire some new guards...

_Thud._

_Tap... Tap... Tap…_

Firestar’s emerald eyes flew open when a loud creak sounded. He shifted under the thick comforter, turning away from whatever the source of the noise was. Probably the guards doing something important… it’d be rude to ask them to be quiet if it was something that truly required that much noise.

He closed his eyes again, gripping the soft pillow. Darkness, and the drowsiness strengthened soon after.

The king was so certain that he’d been right on the cusp of slumber when-

Something creaked open. There was no clank of armor. And a breeze flowed into the room.

Firestar’s hand snaked to the edge of the bed, where a wooden club was tucked under a sheet. He dared to glance over his shoulder.

Out of his peripheral vision, it seemed like the figure was struggling to close the window.

“Stupid window locks… that was hard to pick open…”

Though lowered by a whisper, the voice was certainly recognizable. Firestar sat bolt upright, scarf toppling off his wild mop of curls.

“Onewhisker?!”

The Windclan ruler froze, amber eyes flashing wide at Firestar in the dark.

“Oh… hey, Fires…” A crowbar was tossed to the side, and the brunet clasped his hands. “Didn’t know you were awake…”

“Your elephant trampling woke me.” The ginger grunted, quite unamused.

“ _Oopsie_ ,” Onestar didn’t sound quite sorry at all when he let his heavy robe fall to the floor. “Thought you were a heavier sleeper than that. Anyways, need your help for a quick sec. Looking for something.”

“That’s only in my sleeping quarters?”

“Perhaps.”

“Just come out with it, will you? Don’t make this like the last time… it was awfully weird…”

“Come on, I’m not drunk this time,” He stepped away from the fallen robe, swaying a little. “But I am still feeling a little buzz from the other day! Wouldn’t have rode all the way here otherwise.”

“…Tell me what you’re doing before I call the guards…”

“I told you, I’m looking for something. I need to find out where it is.” With that, the Windclan leader flew over to the dresser, opening a drawer. “Maybe it’s over here…”

Clothes flew back, some onto the bed, most on the floor as the ruler cleared out the drawers and shelves. Firestar swung his legs out of the bed, prepared to stalk over and stop the madness before a pair of draws smacked him in the face.

“ _Onewhisker!_ ” 

Onestar paused again, glaring over at Firestar.

“What?” Exasperation laced his tone, as if someone had broken into _his_ castle, was trashing _his_ room, was disturbing _his_ sleep.

“Onewhisker, you need to go home. If you want to look for something, come over and do it in the morning, like a sensible person!”

“And everybody would know about it? I think not. Besides,” He turned back to the dresser. “Bold of you to assume I’m sensible.”

“Too true.” Firestar grumbled, peeling off the underwear to stand and walk over to the furniture. “But you’re in my castle now. And I am the king here. I order you to tell me what you’re looking for.”

The other ruler flinched away, gaze flickering to the rug.

“I’d rather not discuss it. It’s a personal matter.”

“Personal? You’re in _my_ personal quarters!” The ginger gave a short pause. “You know I won’t tell anyone. Unless you murdered someone, that is.”

“I’m not stupid enough to come in here if I murdered someone. I’d go to Blackstar for that!” He trailed off, shoulders slumping. “I guess I’m looking for… a bag. A small velvet one, I hid the last time both of us were here.”

“A bag? You could get a seamstress to sew you one of those-”

“This one has something special inside!” Firestar truly doubted it, but then it occurred to him that it had to be something significant if he’d broken in. “And I can’t remember where I put it. But I know it’s here.”

The Thunderclan ruler shot a wary glance at Onestar, leaning down to scoop up some of the royal garments.

“I’ll help you, alright? But after that,” He gestured to the window with a thumb. “You leave. And never bother me again.”

“Whatever.” A portion of Onestar’s face was hidden by the curtain of brown strands when he pointed to the dresser. “I think…. I think it could be behind or under the dresser.”

A frown flashed over Firestar’s lips as they stared up at the large wooden piece towering over them.

\---

“A little farther back – yes, that’s perfect – just set it down right there, easy with it.”

After the directions were given, and the dresser successfully eased away from the wall, the guards set the heavy object down carefully.

“This is perfect!” Firestar exclaimed again, shrinking back a little when he got glances of confusion. “I, um… just thought I heard a mouse is all!”

“Uh… Should we call the exterminator then, your highness?”

“No, no, that totally won’t be necessary!” The six guards stumbled once Firestar hurriedly shoved them towards the door. “Go to the kitchens and get yourself some cookies, maybe take a... two hour break!”

“But-”

“ _GET OUT BEFORE I HAVE ALL OF YOU BEHEADED AND SERVED TO WILDERBEAST ON A WOODEN PLATTER!_ ”

The local king shoved the doors shut, only exhaling after they slammed. He faced the closet.

“Come out, they’re definitely gone now.”

“Fires,” Onestar’s voice peaked with surprise. “Been a while since you’ve been so… animated. _Fierce_.”

Firestar stifled a low growl as the Windclan ruler slid out of the closet, a silk scarf shimmering against the glittering gold jumpsuit.

“What are you doing with that?”

“What? May be here a while until I remember exactly where it is, and my neck is cold.”

“Not sure how any part of you could be cold.” The Thunderclan king curled under the covers, emerald eyes glinting. “Isn’t the whole point of winter weight to keep you warm?”

The question was answered with a sharp squint.

The brunet squeezed himself between the dresser and the wall, observing the wall and the wooden floor, slender fingers brushing the wood and paint.

“The trapdoor has to be here somewhere…”

“Trapdoor?” The sleepy ruler’s eyes went wide. “Onewhisker, what trapdoor?”

“The one I cut in either this floor, or the wall behind here. I have to keep looking to find it but _I think_ I remember it being in there.”

“YOU CUT A HOLE IN _MY_ CASTLE?!”

“We were on better terms. I thought it would be fine back then.”

“UGH!” Firestar flipped away from the world, facing the curtain draped on his bed. “You’re just completely _unbearable_. I’m going to sleep, and you’d best be gone by the time I wake again.”

No answer came, and the silence was perfect for the Thunderclan leader to close his eyes and focus on resting. The Festival tomorrow would certainly be hectic, especially with reported sightings of a dragon running about.

“Found it!”

The hiss, although quieted, caused Firestar to open his eyes again. He squeaked when a weight flopped onto the bed behind him.

“ _ONE_ -”

“Shush, the guards might come back.” Onestar leaned into Firestar’s back, tugging open the drawstring. “Stars, can’t believe I only thought about this tonight!”

“What is it?” Firestar rolled onto his other side, scooting upwards a little to peer at the bulging bag beside the gold jumpsuit. He poked a finger inside. “Wait… it feels like…” He glared up at Onestar. “Candy. You broke in here, made me get the guards to move my dresser, cut a hole in my stone, and disturbed my sleep all for CANDY?!”

“…Yep.”

“Simply _unbearable_.” Firestar drew himself up, causing the brunet to flop backwards in the bed.

“I had cravings, what else did you expect me to do?”

“Stars, I have absolutely no clue. Perhaps get _your own_ candy makers in _your own_ castle to make _your own_ candy?”

Onestar shook his head with a _tsk_ , as if _Firestar_ were the wrong one in the situation.

“This is special candy.” The brunet tugged out a wrapped caramel.

“Any bag of candy would be special to _you_ …”

“As I was saying,” The amber glare pierced Firestar as the Windclan leader sat up. “This was a recipe that was made just for Tallstar. I think… I think that he gave me this. Then I hid it where I thought no one could take it. I don’t really remember the rest.”

“You remembered that you wanted it though.”

Onestar busied himself with unwrapping the candy, popping it into his mouth with a thoughtful hum. Firestar squinted at the bag.

“Do you… remember how long it’s been here…?”

“Sugar doesn’t go bad too easily.” The brunet mumbled, despite the face he made as he crunched the once-soft caramel. “And it still tastes good…ish.”

“All I know is that you’d better not come running back here to me if you get food poisoning.” Firestar kept his green glare level, but a smile was undoubtedly twitching on his lips. “If you can manage to run at all.”

“Shut up,” Onestar drew the bag shut, stuffing two more candies in his mouth before standing. “Only time I’ll see you again soon is at the Gathering tomorrow. Who knows, I may need a good throne by then.”

A shudder quivered through Firestar at the thought.

Onestar was already tugging up the window by the time the ginger snapped out it.

“Have to ride back before dawn… by the way, you should probably get that hole in the stone repaired.”

“I should probably have you pay for it.”

“You know you wouldn’t.” The Windclan leader tossed up his robe and threw it on. “Now come and make sure I don’t fall down this ladder.”

By the time Firestar made it to the pane, the brunet was squeezing himself out of the narrow opening. When the ginger glanced down, alarm sparked when he could not spot a ladder of any sort.

“Great Stars, did you forget a ladder too?!” The Thunderclan king grabbed Onestar’s arms, attempting to tug him back inside. “You’re going to fall!”

Pretty unconcerned that he was about to send himself plummeting to his own death, the brunet used a foot to swipe near the castle’s stone wall. Firestar’s eyes widened when his foot found a hold that wasn’t there.

“Got an invisibility job done,” Onestar waggled his eyebrows at Firestar. “Didn’t think I was going to get busted getting my well-deserved candy, did you, Fires?”

“You were about to give me a heart attack, you blubbery oaf! You could have told me first!”

“Always in somebody’s business…”

“If that business is Windclan’s royal splattering on the cobblestone then I get blamed for it and a battle starts, of course it’s my business! And do I have to remind you that you’re in my castle, in my lands?”

But he still held onto Onestar until he was out of reach. He visibly relaxed when the other royal made it to the ground, velvet bag remaining clutched tight in his hand.

Firestar turned away from the window, heaving out a breath. He glanced down at the crowbar on the floor.

“One!” He stuck his head out of the window, waving the tool. “You forgot this!”

“Keep it!” Onestar was already clambering over the fence, where a horse was waiting.

“…Onewhisker?” Firestar’s call was softer.

“What?”

“Don’t break the poor horse’s back trying to ride it.” He slammed the window shut before Onestar could reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes he sleeps with a club  
> you learn to do that when you had to battle Tigerstar #1 at some point  
> 
> 
> also may edit after posting (my writing streak left and there are probably more errors so yep i'll edit where i see them)  
> (edit: changed Gathering to Festival, because idk where else to cram in the apple juice chapter)

**Author's Note:**

> It pains my heart that Fire doesn't say a single "Onesie" in this, because I was aiming for a seriousier fic here  
> oh well, next time.
> 
> Also yes apple juice gets people drunk is this. So does chocolate milk. Just because
> 
> (edit: AW NEVERMIND I love this)


End file.
